Bitches, prepare yourselves for the sudden and forceful revelation of a fuckin secret that has been nourishing many of your cock sucking e-friends for the past decade. I'm talking about some bad ass shit that will not only have you fiending for it like some black tar horse, but also have you splashing your motherfucking assholes with various dairy products, just to soothe the pain that comes with it. Bitches, you thought Mountain Dew and Doritos could fuel your fat asses during your never ending nights of nerd binging. I'm here to tell you that you've been fucking up all these years.

Behold: the snack of a true, hard hitting motherfucker



At this very fucking moment you're probably thinking to yourself, "Womb Raider, what in the mother fuck have you just done to my brain?"
I just fuckin blew it. Bitch.


If you've somehow managed to survive the torrent of knowledge that you've become a victim of, I feel it is only fucking right to pass on the recipe of this holy grail of snackitude.

1) Go to the fuckin store.
2) Steal some fucking Ritz crackers, some motherfuckin cheddar flavored Kraft Easy Cheese, and some god damned Sriracha Sauce (henceforth referred to as cocksauce) from the foreign foods aisle.
3) Drive the fuck home (or ride your faggot fucking bike, if you cant fucking drive (due to either being a man and getting a DUI, or because your parents were such pussies that they decided to conceive your ass at such a date that would make you ineligible for a driver's license)).
4) OPEN ALL THAT SHIT
5) Take the fucking cracker and hold that shit in your hand, unsalted side up.
6) Grab that fucking can of aerosol cheese and spray that shit around the edge of the fuckin cracker
7) Pick up the cocksauce, and put like four fuckin drops in the center of that god damn cracker with the fuckin cheese on it.
8) EAT THAT SHIT.
9) Cum all over yourself.

Bitches, if you don't try this shit and love it, I encourage you to eat a fucking bullet. The best part about this shit? As long as you don't hang around in some piece of shit server that has modified bitch spawn times, you can make yourself one to two of these little mother fuckers every time you die.

You are fucking welcome.

PM me for my paypal info.