All Final Fantasy fans beware, as I am about to do the unthinkable and put that annoying dickhead Cloud Strife in his place, by telling you the truth about him. The real truth, not all the internet and Square propaganda that makes him sound like the greatest person of all time. But where to start.. Ah yes, I think I'll start with his background.
There are plenty of reasons to hate Cloud, I think I started to hate him when I realized that he and everything about him is a fucking lie. Oh yeah, in case you were wondering this is going to contain massive spoilers. Anyway as I was saying, If Cloud would at least have his own storyline/life he might be a respectable character. But it turns out everything cool you ever hear about him back in his Shinra days are just the stories of Zack Fair's life, who's ventures and status Cloud for some reason decided to steal and mutilate. Even after Zack gave his life for him, Cloud turns around and takes his sword, forgets all about him and forges his own false history out of Zack's life and stories. Zack you see, was a first class SOLDIER, a fair match for Sephiroth even. (Oh how I'll get to that later). Cloud was just a lowly infantryman, he never made it into SOLDIER and was so ridden with his own failure and shame that he hid his face in his home town. That is, until Zack beats the shit out of Sephiroth for burning it down. After which Cloud decides he is going to play hero and stab Sephiroth in the back (literally) and take the glory for a cheap shot and an adrenaline rush mixed with an attempt at suicide. (anyone who's seen Last Order or played FFVII classic, or Crisis core will know what I'm talking about)
So now that you know his history is bullshit, let's get down to that awe-inspiring strength and the defeating of Sephiroth 3 times. You see, the first time he "defeated" Sephiroth it was not only a fluke but not really a fair match. Sephiroth had already dueled and had been weakened by Zack before captain hairgel decided to shove a buster sword into his back. Weakening him even more, yet people are still amazed that Cloud was able to slide down the masamune with the aid of gravity and lift the near-dead Sephiroth off the ground. Wow, who knew someone with a hole in the middle of them the size of dinner platter could be bested so easily? The second defeat was Cloud's only real one. I still don't really call it THAT though since he was aided by all his friends and was about as strong as Zack AND had access to ultra-powerful weaponry and armor by the time he faced Sephiroth. (shirtless) But now to the third and most notable of the Sephiroth losses today. In the movie Advent Children. there is a dramatic fight scene between Sephiroth and Cloud, and in the end Cloud bested him again. Or DID he? I did some research and found this piece from the FFVII Ultimania Omega " Cloud was outmatched when it came to the fight with Sephiroth.
Sorry everybody who thinks that Cloud was almost on par with him: he wasn't.
Even worse for Cloud, Nomura said that Sephiroth didn't sweat during the
entire fight and never exerted himself. In other words, he wasn't even trying
hard. Cloud on the other hand was clearly giving it his all and was described
by the book as exhausted by the time the battle was nearing its conclusion." Cloud won completely out of luck.
And as if what I've already stated hasn't been enough. There are other things about Cloud that are just intolerable. Such as the fact that he is an angst-filled emo in his mid 20s and is blatantly homosexual. Not that I have anything against homosexual's of course. I'm just saying that if I were gay (and I'm not) and a woman like Tifa was constantly badgering me for sex, I'd have given in before she asked, hence the precognitive telepathy powers I have that Cloud does not, making him even more pathetic. I also have it on good authority that Cloud isn't his real name, which is in fact Darrel. Darrel Strife, he's not as cool anymore is he fangirls?
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by jwstohr
