this could get very ugly very fast and end with you sitting there wondering how your awesome european self got its fuck smashed by some stupid redneck american.

I'll save you some time here and lay out the facts:
I am smarter than you.
I have more money than you.
I am better looking than you.
I have more sex than you.
My dental health is most assuredly better than yours.
My country could turn your tiny nanny-state shithole into glass in less than an hour.

And honestly that's all that really matters, isn't it?