[OneHundredThirteen]

Hey, I noticed you were selling a Bill's Hat. Are you selling that for hats?

You're willing to see my offer? Better than nothing, you sick bastard.

What's that? You aren't interested in genuine shit? You want keys only? You just DON'T FUCKING LIKE IT?

OH HEAVENS ABOVE! YES, I CAN pull an unusual out of my ass FOR YOU, you greedy fucking DOG! I was just JOKING, it's not a good offer at all! Don't you DARE stick around to let me finish what I was TYPING, for crying out loud! I've only offered this same thing with MINUTE differences to about a HUNDRED FUCKING PEOPLE, and GUESS HOW MANY OF THEM TOOK IT?! At least I've LEARNED a bit about trading. All I want is a GODDAMN BILL'S HAT so I can get some GODDAMN EARBUDS because I'm on a GODDAMN MAC, but didn't get TF2 in time for the promotion! HOLY SHIT! THAT'S FUCKING ALL! I'M NOT NEW TO TRADING! YOU SHOULD BE GLAD I'VE MOVED ON FROM TRYING TO GET AN UNUSUAL FOR MY FUCKING VINTAGE STOCKBROKER'S SCARF!

Thanks for your time.

P.S. If anyone wants to know, my offer is a Genuine Hat (it fluctuates, currently a Geisha Boy) and either a Vintage Bonk Helm (purple) or a Vintage Glengarry Bonnet. If anyone wants to trade me, go right the fuck ahead. Mr. Newell, I salute you.